(Scene is a talk show room with a crowd)
(A host walks to the stage and the audience goes wild)
Bobby: HI GUYS. I’M BOBBY M. AND THIS IS RUMOR ROUNDUP.
Bobby: Usually Rumor Roundup is done by myself but this special guest wanted to make this segment about herself like she usually does. Please give a warm welcome to... SURAI!
(The crowd cheers loudly and chants her name)
Surai: (Walks out in a purple two piece dress with white heels and sits down) Hi everybody! (Blows everyone kisses)
Bobby: Okay. How are you doing?
Surai: I’m great. Life is awesome. :D
Bobby: Alright. Let’s get down to business. Your Valentine’s Day performance. It was good until... you had a little... “Breakdown”... Rumor has it that you were drunk live on TV.
Bobby: Another rumor suggests that you just broke up with your husband...
Surai: False... Where are these rumors coming from, this just happened two days ago-
Bobby: So what did happen ma’am?
Surai: Well, I was... seeing the love in the audience and knowing me, I should feel like same way but unfortunately, no one loves me like that...
Bobby: Sorry to hear that buuut, you can’t have everything you little selfish princess b-word...
Surai: Excuse me..?
Bobby: ANYWHO. How are your kids?
Surai: They are excellent, thanks for asking.
Bobby: Rumor has it that YOU cheated on your husband and birth kids that aren’t his. True I believe?
Surai: No, that is false. Me and him had s** and I know for sure that those are his kids. There’s even a... a little tape of us on the internet.
(The audience gasps)
Surai: Look it up... (Sips tea)
(The audience goes berserk)
Bobby: Anyway. Another rumor says you lip synced your recent performances. I hope this is true because I think it is...
Surai: False. I don’t lip sync.
Bobby: Sing for us now than. :D
(The crowd cheers)
Surai: I’m sorry but my throat is a little sore...
Bobby: BULL CRAP. But whatever. That’s way you’re my fav. :D
Surai: Aww, thanks.
Bobby: Okay. Here’s another rumor. Your melons are fake.
Surai: False. I didn’t have any plastic surgery done on me.
Bobby: ANOTHER RUMOR.
Surai: Oh god...
Bobby: You and your husband aren’t together anymore?
Surai: We are together.
Bobby: But there hasn’t been any pictures of you and him together lately...
Surai: Because I avoid paparazzi in every way I can.
Bobby: But that doesn’t explain of you guys going out together...
Surai: To me it does, NEXT RUMOR.
Bobby: Okay, there’s another rumor when your husband died, you went out with another person, but your husband was alive the whole time. IS THAT TRUE?
Surai: (long pause) partially...
(The audience gasps)
Bobby: GIVE ME THE TEA SIS.
Surai: ALL I’M GOING TO SAY IS... Bulls*** happened, I kinda got attracted to someone else, I thought he was dead, but he really wasn’t but it wasn’t me fault. His friends knew he wasn’t dead but didn’t tell me. I cried 24/7 over his death by the way...
Bobby: WOOOOW. IT’S GETTING HOT IN HERE.
(The audience pretends to faint)
Bobby: Okay. THIS IS ALL THE TIME WE HAVE FOR RUMOR ROUNDUP. THANK YOU SURAI.
(The audience cheers)
Bobby: NOW A SURPRISE PREFORMANCE BY SURAI.
Surai: What? HOLD ON LET ME GET READY
Bobby: JUST JOKING, GET OFF MY SET YOU UNTALENTED-
(Surai punches Bobby in the face and pulls his hair)
Bobby: NOOOOO MY HAIR!
(Surai pulls Bobby’s hair off; revealing he is bald)
(Bobby quickly runs backstage as the audience laughs)
(As Surai laughs she is handcuffed by police)
Surai: Wait, why am I being arrested?
Police: For DTP, and battery.
Surai: DISTURBING THE PEACE, WHAT PEACE IS THERE THIS IS A TALK SHOW
(Surai is thrown in the back of a police car and it drives off)
(To Be Continued)