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Surai's Charity Christmas

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(Scene starts in a big park covered in a half of foot of snow, kids surrounding a stage)

Kid 1: Omg. I heard Surai was passing out gifts for all of us.

Kid 2: Yes. I’m sooooo excited.

Kid 3: I WANT SPIDERMAN.

(A helicopter lands and a bunch of Christmas gifts start piling near the kids. The kids start screaming and opening their presents)

Kid 4: OMG IT’S A XBOX ONE. JUST WHAT I WANTED.

Kid 3: I GOT SPIDERMAN.

Kid 5: I GOT A SURAI DOLL. MY IDOL.

(Surai hops off the helicopter and walks towards the stage. She grabs a microphone and begins to speak)

Surai: HELLO KIDS. Thanks for everyone coming out and celebrating Christmas with me.

(Everyone cheers)

Surai: With all my money with being a Queen, singer, dancer, actress, and most importantly, a mother to two loving children, I’ve went out my way to spend my hardworking money on all these gifts.

(Everyone cheers again)

Surai: In addition, I’m going to sing a Christmas song that I love. Hope you enjoy.

(Surai gets ready to sing)

Adult 1: Oh gosh, I’ve heard she can’t sing..

Adult 2: I hope me ears don’t bleed.

(Surai starts to sing “All I Want For Christmas” By Mariah Carey)

Surai: Oooooh iiiii.. Don’t wannnnt a looot for Christmassss… (She sings off-key and a little flat)

Adult 3: Oooh this is bad..

Adult 2: ME EARS ARE BLEEDING.

(Two minutes of torture later..)

Surai: ALLLLL I WANNNT FOR CHRISTMASSSSSSSS….. IS YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU (Flat whistle note)

Random Adult: YOU SUCK. (Starts throwing snow balls at Surai)

Surai: HEY

(Some people start throwing snow ball at Surai)

Surai: STOP THAT YOU GUYS.

Adult 2: YOU CAN’T SING. (Throws a snow ball at her head)

Surai: You know what.. (Runs into the crowd and hits Adult 2 with the mic several times in the head)

(Days later)

(Scene is Zirreo News Station)

News Reporter: On Christmas Day, Queen Surai went out of her way to buy kids gifts. All went well until she started singing..

(News shows a clips of her singing)

News Reporter: Then she went into the crowd and hit someone with her microphone! Ouch

(news shows Surai hitting someone with her mic)

News Rep: That person is here to give his side of the story.

Adult 2: So.. I threw a snow ball at her because she was making me ears bleed. She ran to me and hit me with her mic. My head was bleeding and I passed out.

News Rep: Surai is also here to give her side of that day.

Surai: You know what.. THEM PEOPLE DON’T KNOW REAL TALENT. I SLAYYED THAT SONG. MY VOCALS WERE ON POINT. YEAH I WAS A LITTLE SICK SO WHAT I SOUNDED A LITTLE FLAT.. BUT I STILL SLAYED THAT SONG THOUGH.

News Rep: People on Social Media are declaring it the worst performance ever. How do you feel?

Surai: People want auto-tune singing folks. I don’t use auto-tune and I don’t need it. I sing raw and people don’t know talent obviously..

News Rep: I think you need SOME auto-tune and vocal teaching.. (coughs)

Surai: You know what.. (Stands up and walks towards the News Rep)

News Rep: WAIT WAIIIIT (Screen goes black)

I wish everyone a happy holiday and hope everyone had a good Christmas today.

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