Anti-Jokes are jokes that don't make sense, but end up being funny anyway! Feel free to add to them!


Q: Why did the plane crash?

A: The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q: Why was the Mexican, American and Irishman walking down the street?

A: They were in a parade celebrating racial equality.

Q: What looks like red paint, but smells like blue paint?

A: Red paint.

Q: Roses are red, Violets are blue,

A: I have Alzheimers. Toast Cheese.

Q: Why is Six afraid of Seven?

A: Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those b*stards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that Seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness.

Also, Seven has a hook for a hand and that's pretty scary.

Valentin 98Edit

Q: What did the Harpie Girl card say when I found it in my room?

A: "I'm a Harpie Girl, In a Harpie World!"

Your mother um I mean ZieEdit

Q: What did the cup say to the bowl?

A: I'm not pouring my pee on you Frank.

Q: What did the computer say to the old man?

A: Go outside and play sports sonnie, and go die, in a well, FULL OF FAKE CASH MWAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!

Q: Apple

A: Expecting an answer? Too bad, Waluigi Time.

Q: Microsoft

A: Sucks

Darkness PizzaEdit

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? 

A: I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

Q: What's green and has wheels?

A: Grass, I lied about the wheels.

Q: How do you make a plumber cry?

A: You kill his family.

Q: A duck walks into a bar, and the bar tender asks, "What'll it be?"

A: The duck doesn't say anything because it's a duck.

You're mama's so fat, that she should probably worry about the increased risk of a cardiovascular disease.

Roses are grey, violets are grey, I'm color blind, and that makes me sad

Q: Why was the boy sad?

A: His parents divorced.


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?

A: For a perfectly legitimate reason.

Q: Why can't Amy Winehouse drive?

A: Because she's dead.

Q: A Man Walks into a bar

A: And slowly alcoholism tears his family apart.

Q: How do you make a mime cry?

A: You kill his family.

Q: If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, what does he have?

A: Diabetes. John has diabetes.

Q: How do you stop a baby from crying?

A: Hit it with a brick.

Q: How many electricians does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: 1.

Q: A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "why the long face?"

A: The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar.

Q: Where did Susie go during the bombing?

A: Everywhere.

Q: What do you call a kid with one arm, one leg, and an eyepatch?

A: Names.

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub?

A: 27

Q: In Soviet, Russia

A: Winters are cold.

Q: In Soviet, Russia

A: Nothing happens. The Soviet Union was dissolved in 1991.

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